Friday, 31 October 2014

Show Don't Tell 2

This is my Show Don't tell writing that room 5 started about 1 week ago... I hope you like it.

The sentence we had to show not tell - She was happy and excited when she went for a swim on a hot sunny day with her best friend.

Her mouth was wide open and she was dancing around like a crazy person. She lept into the crashing waves and slowly started to stroke forward. She got out of the water, the sun was out and she started to sweat, the soft, golden sand felt boiling hot under her feet. She ran up to her friend and both their hands slapped together. They lay on their towels and sunbathed, their skin looked like it was getting sunburned so they both ran to the water as fast as they could, the waves felt cool and relaxing. Then they both bought some nice, cool ice-cream, they both bought chocolate. Her friend dived back into the big, blue waves the waves started to grow bigger and she had a huge smile on her face. Then she saw a big, grey spike sticking out of the water, she tried to imagine what it might be, she only had one chance, they had to act now or suffer the consequences…