Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Show Don't Tell...

Today room 5 learnt how to do show don't tell, here are mine...

I will begin by describing what the characters body felt like.
I will describe what they were thinking

I will leave the audience hanging

·                     Write in the third person
·                     Use capital letters and full stops.

Her legs started to wobble, her heart pounded faster than a cheater. She heard strange noises in the distance then everything went silent. She imagined what might be lurking through the dark woods……

He smashed the door right open, his eyes were looking evil. He had a big frown. His face was red like he was going to burst in flames. He clenched his hands into a fist. He started to imagined what he would do to his little brother……

Can you find out what emotions I was writing about?

1 comment:

  1. Ka mau te wehi Denver, what awesome writing. I think in the first one you were excited and in the second one you were happy! Just kidding I think you were scared and angry. You really used lots of clues in both to show how you were feeling. I like how you changed the colours of t e WILF and highlighted things in your writing to show that you did those things. Just one suggestion, on our blog (because of the blue background) some of those colours are really hard to read. So perhaps when we post only use 2 coulours. Miharo tuhituhi Denver. I can't wait to see what other awesome mahi you put on here!